Happiness suddenly jumps upon you. When desire disappears, happiness appears. When the striving is no more, for the first time you see who you are. That knowing is what Buddha means: Come and see: Ihi passika. Where is he calling you: Come and see? He is calling you from your desires. You have gone far away from your home, you have lost your home base and are not where you appear to be. Your dream has taken you to faraway worlds: imaginary, illusory, your own creation.
Bliss is not happiness. Bliss is more like peace than like happiness. Bliss is neither unhappiness nor happiness; it is peace from that turmoil, that conflict.
It is peace, absolute peace, because it is a transcendence of duality. Happiness always lingers with unhappiness; unhappiness is always with its other side, happiness. They are two sides of the same coin. When the whole coin drops from your hand you are neither happy nor unhappy. It is because of this that Buddha never had a great appeal to the Indian masses. Who wants peace? Everybody wants happiness — and everybody knows that happiness is followed by unhappiness, as day is followed by night, as death is followed by birth, birth is followed by death.
It is a vicious circle: if you are happy, you can be certain that soon you will be unhappy; if you are unhappy, you can be certain that soon you will be happy again. Seeing this game of happiness and unhappiness, the watcher, the meditator becomes unidentified with both. When happiness comes he knows that unhappiness will be coming, so why get excited? When unhappiness comes he is not at all disturbed because he knows happiness will be coming just around the corner, so why become disturbed? He is neither excited by happiness nor disturbed by unhappiness. This is peace. He remains the same, in a deep equilibrium; his silence is undisturbed.
Day comes and goes, night comes and goes, everything comes and goes. He remains a witness, unconcerned, cool. That coolness, that unconcernedness is peace. A man who is in search of truth does not think in terms of happiness. His happiness, or unhappiness, that is not the point.
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Even if it is painful, even if it leads to hell, I am ready to pass through it. Wheresoever it leads, I am ready to go to it. There are only two types of people. One is in search of happiness; he is the worldly type. Now in a different way — through meditation, prayer, God — he is trying to become happy, more and more happy. Then there is the other type of person — and only two types exist — who is in search of truth. And this is the paradox: the one who seeks happiness will never find it, because happiness is not possible unless you attain to the true.
Happiness is just a shadow of truth; it is nothing in itself — it is just a harmony. When you feel one with the truth, everything fits together, falls together. You feel a rhythm — that rhythm is happiness. You cannot seek it directly. Truth has to be sought.
Happiness is found when truth is found, but happiness is not the goal. And if you seek happiness directly you will be more and more unhappy. Happiness is just like a drug — it is LSD, it is marijuana, it is mescaline. Why has the West come to drugs? It is a very, very rational process.
It has to come to it because searching for happiness one has to reach LSD sooner or later. The same has happened in India before. In the Vedas they reached soma, LSD, because they were seeking happiness; they were not really seekers of truth. They were seeking more and more gratification — they came to soma. Soma is the ultimate drug. And Aldous Huxley has named the ultimate drug, when it is to be found somewhere in the twenty-first century, he has called it soma again. Whenever a society, a man, a civilization, seeks happiness, it has to come somewhere to drugs — because happiness is a search for drugs.
You forget yourself, then there is no misery. You are not there, how can there be misery? You are fast asleep. What is true? A man who seeks truth will find it, because to seek truth he will have to become true himself. When there is a lot of running about, a lot of running here and there, man is unhappy. Happiness is being at complete rest. You run here and there in search of happiness, but your arithmetic is wrong, your calculations are faulty. You think you will find happiness by running hither and thither, but in the end all this running only makes you miserable.
The final result of all this running about is unhappiness. The more you run, the more miserable you will be. Happiness is that moment of rest when there is no more running, when you are just at rest, when you are simply there where you are, when you do not move even an inch. And then, in that moment of rest, there is happiness, there is nothing but happiness. Meditate over this. The extent to which you run is the extent to which you are deprived of happiness. And the more you keep on running, the more and more unhappy you become.
Happiness is to be found by stopping. And stopping is meditation, prayer, worship. Stopping means having no idea or thought of the future whatsoever. As long as you remain attached to the future your running will continue. The present moment is everything, so why run? Where will you reach by running?
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There is no place to run, no time in which to run. Existence is celebrating this very moment and you are cut off from it. You are so unfortunate. And you are unfortunate because you are running. If you expect happiness to come to you tomorrow you will receive nothing but misery. Please just stop for a while. You are missing happiness because of your running, and because of your running you have no free time, no leisure to enjoy it. All the enlightened ones have said that desire is the root cause of misery and that contentment is the foundation of happiness. Contentment means rest, contentment means that whatsoever you have is enough, more than enough.
Where is your ability to enjoy what you already have? Think about it a moment. Do you even have the capacity to enjoy that which you already possess? You are unable to contain all that is given to you already, and yet you are running after more and more. Man can be happy, more happy than the birds, more happy than the trees, more happy than the stars — because man has something which no tree, no bird, no star has.
Man has consciousness. But when you have consciousness then two alternatives are possible: either you can become unhappy or you can become happy. Then it is your own choice! Trees are simply happy because they cannot be unhappy. Their happiness is not their freedom — they have to be happy.
These birds chirping in the trees, they are happy! Their happiness is unconscious. It is simply natural. Man can be tremendously happy and tremendously unhappy — and he is free to choose. This freedom is hazardous. This freedom is very dangerous — because you become responsible. And something has happened with this freedom, something has gone wrong. Man is somehow standing on his head. You have come to me seeking meditation. Meditation is needed only because you have not chosen to be happy.
If you have chosen to be happy there is no need for any meditation. Meditation is medicinal: if you are ill then the medicine is needed. Once you have started choosing happiness, once you have decided that you have to be happy, then no meditation is needed. I remember finding this  a friend mine.
She became a close friend. A lot of that intelligence that I had shut off as a child sort of reawakening with her. It attracted all of these incredible doctors and scientists. People that I had seemingly especially with how little I thought of myself had a new business being around, and I started seeing metaphysics, quantum physics, psychology, and I was working three jobs. I put myself through school. I worked in a junkyard, almost passed out — I did pass out a few times in the sun — got hit with tires.
It was working with gang members. It was a crazy experience. I was in this underground world of intelligence and goodness, of people who were doing amazing things for the world that no one would ever know. It sparked this deep knowingness within myself that reawakened that child-like version of me that was loving, vivacious, intelligent, and caring.
It was a long journey for me to get back to myself or understand what the heck was going on. I remember taking this moment — I had this horrible experience with this gal that I bought a house with. I was living in Arizona, and it was such a horrible decision, and we had a really bad living experience together that I just rode off the house. I just gave it to her, and I moved across the country to Florida. I was still working a corporate job and trying to keep my sad little life together.
For thirty days I was broke. For thirty days, I sat in this little one-bedroom condo. I had no furniture. I had a phone pad on the ground and a pillow and a blanket, cupboard box turned upside down. That was my desk for about thirty to forty-five days; I was there with nothing. Is someone really living there.? I just sat there with my little ten dollar Walmart lunch chair that I bring into every little nook of the apartment, and I found myself. I was completely alone. I had moved away from my family, my friends, every unhealthy or healthy thing, I was just with me.
I was the person you can never be alone. It was the most amazing thirty days of my life. I got to meet myself, probably the first time that I could ever remember, and I was so euphorically happy. I, of course, let my programming kick back in, and the abusive guy that I was dating in Arizona followed me to Florida, and I let him back into my life.
For about four or five months, I lived in complete misery all over again. My entire reality that I was running away from followed me. All of the mental beliefs and all the junk came right with it. It was like it had never left. I could love myself. I felt what it felt like to know me, to accept me, and to be with just me, and I was enough. I dropped to my knees, and I was sobbing, and I was praying to God, the universe, whatever.
There was such purity at that moment that everything shifted so fast. Literally within two weeks, I had removed the relationship, I quit my job, I had moved to the state of Florida, and I met my now husband. He became a dear friend of mine very quickly. All of it just showed up immediately.
It almost seemed like a manifestation to support me. It was such a juicy experience after that, and that was actually the first time where I decided to let go of the fear; instead, it will never be the same again. That was the choice I made. How do you help people to come to that point where they too can choose to let go of the fear? Those are understandable fears that show up when someone is trying to change their life. They had felt the way I feel. They have created the messes that I have created, but they were triumphant. It was about educating myself.
When you combine all of those, you meet every need that the brain has to move forward because most often everyone can move forward. Everyone can change their life if they so choose. But the reward is seemingly so big because humans will only go towards pleasure or run away from pain. You met your husband. What happened next? It continues to be. That moment was so defining because it was the moment that I never had to go back again if that makes sense. I can see it. That was those moments that I never fully turned back, but there was still so much healing that had to take place.
That was when I saw massive growth in a short amount of time. Gathering all that information, I took that and started my company — Authentic Living — and started helping people. Every day, I got better. Every day, my relationship with myself and just my dysfunctional behaviors in relationships, in general, began to heal. I was able to work through them with my husband. I got conscious of what was going on in my thoughts every day. Life is completely different. So there are eating disorders, but some of them are of control. As you were healing yourself and using neuroscience to heal the trauma, how did you shift your relationship with your eating so that it became healing for you instead of that mental-emotional issue?
That was a very unhealthy time in my life mentally. It was like this one thing I can hyperfocus on, and then I can meet my need for certainty right here and obviously overdo it and brutalize my insights in the process. In your job, there are other areas of life that have more variability. I actually moved out of the apartment I was in and switched schools.
She had all of her workouts and exactly what she ate and so forth, but it was actually eating, and that was the biggest step I could take at that moment. And so it got me one step above. Usually, the next step is going to be something like at least you can be angry, or at least you can be sad, or at least you can feel neutral, and you can go up the steps of the emotional leader. But at least I can move towards actually consuming calories every day, exercising, and no longer bingeing. And so, it was just that one step forward, and then I got to that point and started actually liking the way that I look, but I was still quite neurotic about it, and then took a little step further.
I just completely flipped the script because I found self-love. I had my corporate job. He was such a sweetheart. He was this amazing, beautiful, heart-centered man. I just had to keep working on every moment, but I would try to sabotage it. The first one is always late.
He grew up in the Philippines. But he moved to the US when he was 18 and started studying personal development. He has a son, who is now my full-time son as well. We have an eight-year-old, just not with us — not my biological son. My husband moved over when he was 18, and then we met. Your husband was that mirror, and you got to catch yourself while you were sabotaging it.
That was like eleven years ago. He turns to me, and he starts arguing with me, which is so not like him because he is a very cool-headed, easygoing person. You know what? I was just talking to my ex-wife. Something you said, the way you looked at me, the tone of your voice, something had me completely get triggered by a past argument that I had with my ex-wife, and it had nothing to do with you.
Luckily, we paused long enough to realize that this argument has nothing to do with us at the moment. He needed that space too, coming from an unhealthy marriage as well. I just wrote an article about this on Conflict and Relationships, and that was the whole thing. That was what I was writing about. Neuroscience, the psychology, and just the environmental factors, societal programming — everything. Most of life, it can be our jobs, our view of money, our view of sex, our relationships — all components of if life is supposed to be easy or hard, they all come from filters from the past versus a conscious and limitless knowing of the now, of what can be created without all of that weight.
That was that turning point that you never went back. You have a background in science and understanding how we create reality — the neuroscience and the metaphysics of it. I love this idea of being able to marry spirituality and physics — being able to see that they have more in common than we think. How does prayer play a role in your transformation or your life now, given your understanding of neuroscience? Sometimes God is a programming for people. They have to work on that relationship of what prayer means to them because again prayer might come from a programmed belief versus connecting to yourself or connecting to the universe or God — insert whatever word you want.
I remember doing this interview with a rabbi. I call it love — love can be my religion, I suppose. I grew up having a close relationship with that part of me. I journaled since I was five years old almost every stinking day. What was going on then and what preceded that? What came before or after? What really happened? How do they do that?
We had kids that would come in with extreme behavioral issues in school. For some reason, I just kind of had that in me. I equate that to that centeredness and that connection I had as a child before I try to shut my light off. The conversation can go any which way, and there can be many different perceptions. He had some really crazy behaviors when I first met him. Staying in a calm state is one of the most seemingly important things. We have the ability to electrically impact one another. I love that you explained it, how the brain does it.
When you want to help someone shift their state, you need to be in the state that you want them to be in. So here you are now. What kind of services do you offer? Do you work one on one with people still? Is it over Skype? Do you do group coaching or workshops? Tell us about how people can work with you. This whole concept was birthed in the book as well. I was doing some work in Scandinavia with one of my cool scientist friends, and so my husband and I went to visit them. They own clinics throughout Scandinavia and really throughout the world — a very cutting edge technology.
When I went there, I was already coaching at that time, and I had dropped out of my Ph. I decided I am not going to work within the confines of therapy or clinical psychology, or psychiatry. So I dropped out of my Ph. I wanted to be able to tell my clients that I care for them and to be able to hug them if I want to and to be able to truly help them get out of the chair. Some of the red tape they had really sucked for them. When I was in Scandinavia, we were working on psychosomatic illnesses, so basically illnesses that are manifested in the body through the mind, through thought.
Allergies, for example, are beyond psychosomatic most often. Even colds — sometimes cancer and different diseases of different sorts — so many come true. I have never taken NLP or any of that. Working through the weirdest of things — we had this particular individual, for example, with a heart disease. It took us about three hours to get to the root. She had experienced extreme trauma when she was But she went to therapy after, the therapist did their job, and she was not registering any hidden trauma from that.
I remember sitting there thinking if this is what people can do to themselves because they lack love, we have so far to go in the world of therapy. It would drive them absolutely insane because they have the scientific mind, and I know the frustration of that. But it was true. I was really speaking from my heart. I ask to serve the highest level possible. I remove all parts of my ego, but I pump in the unconditional love.
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But that form of love gets the subconscious to relax and release. So what it does, or has the ability, I should say, to rewire the brain to create new neurological pathways, when someone believes trust and feels that truth coming from another individual, they meld with that energy, and it can change their neurochemistry.
That created my whole methodology. It took me about a year and a half. I ended up creating the first certification program for life coaches. We have a lot of therapists and psychiatrists and counselors that also go through it to teach us methodology.
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I take the backseat and get to see the ripple effect of my work out in the world. I call it an answer to the highest good of all. I try to teach people how to bring that form of love and understanding so that they can truly help people and change the world. Is it measurable and hurts? There are some amazing technologies out there. I could be talking about love, and someone has a negative connotation of what love means to them. Can you teach us some techniques today so that the listeners can have an experience of shifting their life? I love that all of us are saying the same things sometimes, but finally, when someone is embodying that truth, it gets in, and it solves the problem for someone.
Love versus fear is this idea of, in as many moments as possible throughout the day, how can we, in our decisions, our thoughts, and our reality choose something that feels light, or choose love. This is based on an intuitive decision that we make. Some people literally have to start, and this is the square one for them — Do I eat outside or inside? Do I go for a walk?
Do I stretch? Because what that does is allow for us to keep shedding all of the weight — the energetic, emotional, or psychological weight that we carry of all the roles that we feel we need to play throughout life or the people that we need to be to get our needs met. We can even look retroactively. Most often it was of fear. I was afraid because I had been homeless before.
Was that wrong or right? Eventually, these become so natural. But a lot of times I see folks who will set alarms on their phone every hour. So you have to come at it with acceptance and some love towards the experience. The chemistry in our brains and the particles that affect it — our energy impacts particles. Our consciousness impacts particles in the air. The first thing they need to do is start consciously living so they can understand how they are currently interacting with the particles in their environment.
When you send that, I got triggered, and I almost blew up on you, and I was thinking about that. People lose relationships over this stuff. Right now the divorce rate is about So many of us are unconscious, and our unconscious, unresolved material is wreaking havoc on our life. It could be an intimate relationship. It can be with our boss, or mom or dad, or siblings and so forth. I grew up with nine different divorces — throughout my step parents and parents and so forth. That was a very core belief. I never thought I was going to get married. If we can assume responsibility for our life, and again I say this more in the Western world — things are happening in parts of the world that I would not ever tell someone that they created for themselves.
What about incest? What about molestation? All my unconscious and conscious choices in my life led me through those experiences, led me to where I am now, and I get to choose who I am in the moment. I get to choose to be who I am now, so that allows me to be at cause. Forgiveness is ending their past discretions from hurting you in the present. When we take responsibility, that allows us so we can do things like forgive, that allows us to stop the past from hurting us in the now. It was ultimately, a deviation that led to a reality and experiences that were so painful and not something that a human really should have to experience.
Because I knew these people, I brought forth that energy and the reality of that. Watching TV, even Netflix and Hulu, and all the things we like to watch, and listening to the radio, all that media and magazines that media has designed to keep this facade of this world in which we are at effect. And we are helpless as individuals, especially around the news. We talk about TV programming like television is visually programming you, and reading is fundamental.
Is it really true? Why is it here? When we look at the need to maintain a status quo in our societies, and that is every small factor in the society, it can be the relationship we have in our household. It can be culturally.
It can be with media. It can be in the embodiment of our country or the entire dominant frequency of planet earth. Light being information, being the truth. What do I choose to view? Generationally speaking, the newer generations are waking up to this truth of things are not as they seem. Is this true? Is this what I want to focus on? I even do that when I see like protests — individuals who are fighting against something versus trying to love through and bring community to something. We need to stop this horrible thing from happening? We can just keep it down.
So he used a very feminine energy and made a major shift in his country. Those are completely different things. I hate it when we have to use that word incorrectly. When you imagine being in that space, what happens to the body? What happens to the cortisol levels? What happens to the brain? It gets out of primal mode. And so we literally can find better solutions.
We tap into a different part of ourselves through maintaining that state or that frequency of what I call unconditional love because there are many different forms of love that are a little bit not so much love. Even like the oneness that we carry with the collective universe if you will. When you can start tapping into your intuition, then you can tap into naturally that love-based vibrational state, but also even higher states than that.
Enlightenment is actually, from a frequency standpoint, higher than a love vibration. Love is like a gold color, and enlightenment is like a silver, platinum color if you will. They hold different vibratory levels.
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But when you are following your intuition, when you can listen to the inner voice, and the best way to begin that process again is asking yourself questions, very simplistic ones, seeing how you feel — Do I feel like I should be going for a walk right now? Do I feel like I need to speak my truth to my partner right now? What needs to happen?
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How does that need to look? When you exercise that intuitive muscle, it gets so strong, and that intuitive state is your authentic self if you will. What does my intuition say I should do right now? I want to go to the love vibration. I want to feel good. What do I need to do? You can feel the difference. Do I really feel it? Can you teach me how to manifest? What is your subconscious sending outward? Your conscious mind processes like 0.
So you got to do all the work on the subconscious, not on the conscious affirmations. And then I went through this neat little personal growth program. At that time, I found it very difficult to get to the gym. There was just a lot of resistance, a lot of unconscious resistance. It was very uncomfortable. The entire process from putting on my shoes to driving there, everything did not feel right. What the heck?
Look, she just tripped. So it was very unsafe in grade seven. It was ridiculous because all the boys were picking on us. We perceive it as a physical threat to our survival probably because we had to live in a tribe to survive for thousands of years. So I equated unconsciously going to the gym with like someone running at me with a spear. Of course, I was pushing. I was breaking it apart, dismantling this, and understanding it. I came up with this affirmation, and it hit me. What is she doing here? And so that was my mantra.
Getting in the car, the resistance would still be there a little bit — a little uneasy. Everyone is just head down trying to do their own thing and not worried about what everyone else thinks. I held my head higher after that. I felt more in touch with my purpose. So that mantra — repeating that affirmation became part of the healing, but I had to do the work first.
It has got to resonate with you. You have to use the energy in which you are striving to wrap around, just like words hold frequency. In my early twenties, I would get cystic acne, like honking things, and they would hurt so bad. When my husband and I moved to Laguna Beach, I stopped doing those really hard workouts.
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