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Drop the Bass Original Mix Flashmob. Danzer Original Mix Darius Syrossian. Finder Carl Cox Remix Ninetoes. Because it was raining. I was a customer service representative, which means that whenever someone would rent a car, I would be responsible for delivering that car to him either in a trailer or, if close, by driving it , checking it over, doing paperwork, showing them how to use the car, and then when their rental was over, going back to pick it up. I was just a fat kid who loved cars and wanted to get into the industry any way I could and learn, learn, learn. And Gotham Dream Cars was the perfect place to do that.
I learned all about exotic cars: how they drove, when and why they broke, what they cost to fix, and how certain exotic cars held up over time compared to others under the worst-case scenario—rental customers. I had bought a lightly-used Audi B6 S4 sedan, in Avus silver, with a stick, and man, at the time what a nice car that was.
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The Labree exhaust made it sound like a Spyker. The Audi got bland quickly. One November day, I was on my normal morning commute out to Jersey. It had been raining all night and traffic had built up over the bridge in both directions. I attempted to bail off the highway and onto a side street for the last two miles to the office, but as I merged into the exit lane onto a cloverleaf offramp, traffic came to a dead stop.
And on this single-lane cloverleaf, with a two-foot puddle of water at the end, is where I sat for the next two hours. To say I had some time to think would be an understatement. Eventually I made it to work—a mere three hour commute. Twenty minutes later, through the red sea and into the shop rolled a Black Hummer H1 Wagon, its diesel engine clattering away.
He had at least three or four of each at any given time. And yes, as with all my stories, I am well aware of how fucking ridiculous this sounds ten years later. We chatted about this Hummer, a model with the GM 6. It showed only 40, miles and presented as very clean, no doubt aided by the fact that it was soaking wet and looked like it had just stormed Normandy. I asked Steve to go for a test drive, citing perfect Hummer conditions, and climbed into the beast.
Without a pre-purchase inspection, without researching anything about the pitfalls of Hummer ownership, without so much as checking the fucking oil, I offered to trade Steve my S4 for his Hummer.
I want a girl I can Fuck, in my hummer truck. Apple bottom jeans and a big ol' butt
On the spot, straight up. The speed at which Steve agreed to this trade should have been the first indicator of what was about to happen: I was about to get fucked. And it was my own fault. Hummers were affordable, and exotic enough to be different from everyone else.
Because it was raining, you see.
And also, I was very stupid. Reality sunk in the second I got home from work. In Manhattan. Surely there are less-friendly places on the blog than Manhattan to own a car; London comes to mind, with their road tax, and Kabul, with its car bombs. There is only one parking garage on the Lower East Side, and it was a solid half-mile walk from my apartment, which was annoying enough. One thousand dollars. To park.
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And for the most part, it actually went well. I wouldn't take a ride in it nonetheless - feel bad for the horses! I love it! It looks cool and has low emissions. It's true though, we can't keep pumping out these environment destroying toys for ever. The scale will tip eventually. Cool statement The goal? To show just how screwed and unsustainable the auto-industry has become.
Come lets journey into the future… What will we see? A small few will possess all the wealth and will desire the best of the best.
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